I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
