I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
