Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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