you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize