she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
