3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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