I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize