i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
