I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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