i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
