At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
