Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
