it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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