no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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