Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize