My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
