morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
