some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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