Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
