i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
