His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
