I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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