So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
