no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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