man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize