Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
