Dual....:-)
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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