people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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