What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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