My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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