is your mom at the bar?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
