Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
