3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
