well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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