i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
