She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's just like the Real World with babies
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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