I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
