whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everyone says I win the strip club
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
