my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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