omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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