i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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