Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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