The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
