This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
