def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
