well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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