i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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