in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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