so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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