yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize