I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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