yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
