Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
