An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
