Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
