i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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