hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
