I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize