Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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